...adversity has never been this...

...beautiful? fun? haha. i'm not sure. but i'm grateful for the hell fire i feel like i have been through for the past month or so. my life has been turned up side down, inside out, and at times has seemed to come to a complete stop.

however, at the end of the day i can go to my knees and thank my heavenly father for the things that i have learned along the way about others, relationships, myself, and life.

the past couple of months have been anything but a cake walk. i was doing what i thought i could about securing a place for myself outside of utah and away from certain stumbling blocks. i was applying to different jobs, emailing employers, finishing up my first year of teaching, figuring out whether or not to fight for someone or to bow out gracefully and walkaway. i felt like for a long time that i wasn't getting anywhere.

the night i got back from seattle i was texting amy and realized that for first time in a while i was happy. genuinely happy. and i was ready to keep going; to move forward. and of course i spoke all too quickly. the next morning i was hit with an "atom bomb." details are not needed. i just felt like my life came to a screeching halt. i felt betrayal, used, deceived, disrespected, and shell shock.

when the shock wore off i finally snapped back into it all i broke down and figuratively threw my hands in the air with defeat. in my head i replayed everything i had done to try to move forward and pleaded with God to have one thing work out. i just had this feeling that i had been forgotten.

...then of course i was proven wrong. my phone rang and it was the head of HR in arizona saying that they wanted me to come and work for them. i was so excited and just so extremely grateful. my savior and heavenly father hadn't forgotten me. there was somewhere for me and there was something for me to do. the phone call couldn't have come at a better time.

so i am grateful for the "crud" i went through so that i could have that sweet moment of joy and happiness.